


Bad Days, worse nights

by Dressed_up_in_gold



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, Comfort, General suffering, M/M, Nightmares, kaneki has nightmares, slight eye gore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2016-02-06
Packaged: 2018-05-18 15:55:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5934184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dressed_up_in_gold/pseuds/Dressed_up_in_gold
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaneki may have escaped hell on earth but he hasn't escaped the memories.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bad Days, worse nights

**Author's Note:**

> Kaneki has nightmares and Shuu does his best to comfort him.

Some days were good days. Kaneki’s head was filled with nothing more than the sweet music from the birds outside his bedroom window. Sunlight would spill in through the curtains, painting the room in a warm light that cradled Kaneki in a blanket of comfort and security. A smile would break across his face, showing the bright side of him that was often hidden. He would get up swiftly, shaking off the last of his drowsiness as he dressed. Shuu’s light hearted humming would reach his ears as he headed to the kitchen, following the singing to his lover.

“Good morning!” Shuu would coo, sunlight bouncing off his soft features, before pecking Kaneki’s chapped lips with his soft ones. His voice would only hold genuine affection.

Genuine affection.

The thing that Kaneki’s heart craved. He would smile against Shuu’s lips, swearing he had never tasted anything sweeter. He only pulled away to gently cup the side of Shuu’s face and look over his boyfriend’s expression, soft and glowing as always. The way Shuu’s eyelashes fluttered softly, how his pink lips still hung open before a smile would pull them apart making his ethereal face somehow more beautiful. How he managed to look so perfect was unknown to Kaneki, but maybe he didn’t really care to know. All he wanted was to stay in this moment forever.

Unfortunately, the good days would soon pass and bring along the bad ones.

Today was one of the bad ones.

First it was a smell. The metal scent filled his nose, putrid and vomit inducing, it made him gag. He couldn’t see. His heart pounded as he tried to move only to find that his wrists were cut into by some sort of metal cuffs.

Then it was a sound. A laugh. A cruel laugh that made him shrink into himself. It was all too familiar. He didn’t need to see to know who it was. The man who had tortured him. Kaneki’s body shook, he seemed to choke on his own spit as he desperately tried to form words.

 _‘This can’t be happening-no, please no- ‘_ He yelled. Or at least he tried to. His own voice seemed to echo in his head. The real horror was about to begin.

Kaneki woke up to screaming, a horrid shriek that jerked him from sleep. The rawness of his own throat confirmed that the noise had came from him.

 _‘blood. so much blood. Get out. Get out.’_ He gasped for air. Where was he?

There was no security or comfort as his body reacted violently. The room around him was a blur. The once soothing surroundings now a house of mirrors, reflecting his nightmares. Kaneki was doused in sweat and fear, his clothing felt all too constricting, the feeling almost paralyzing. Too enwrapped in his panic he barely realized that he had fell from the bed, landing on the wooden floor with a thud.

 _‘No. stop, stop!’_ Some part of him was begging for him to return to reality.

His chest rose as he tried to breathe but he was sure someone was suffocating him. There was another laugh. This time it was sharp, higher pitched, almost mocking. The sound brought forward a thousand feelings. The color purple, sweet smelling perfume, high heels, and red spider lilies.

“Kaneki?”

His eyes darted around. There she was, clothed in a white dress. Her hair tied in a ponytail, little wisps of hair framing her face. Red lips split in an innocent grin.

“Kaneki?” She cooed again, taking a step towards him.

“No, get away from me!” Kaneki screamed, his own voice frightening him. He crawled back on his hands, barely registering the feeling of his back slamming into the corner of the room as he tried to get away. Pain shot through his head making his eyes water and his body jerk.

_‘oh god, maybe I never escaped.’_

For a second he was back in that room, the checkered floor was under him. The cool tiles painted with blood. No, he couldn’t be there. Not again. His fingers tore at his arms as he desperately trying to rid himself of the feeling of bugs across his skin.

“Kaneki, you’ve gone mad.” Rize whispered. Her taunting voice adding to his panic.

Kaneki’s hands seemed to move on their own, the calloused pads grabbing at his skin. They moved upward until he was clawing at his face. He didn’t want to see her. He didn’t want any of it. A shriek of pain left him as he clawed at his eyes. His nails scratched at his eyes, tearing into the soft organ. Before he could totally destroy his vision. Hands grabbed at his wrists and pulled them from his face.

“Let me go! Let me go! Let me go!” Kaneki tried twisting away. His eyes were screwed shut in pain and horror. Oh god this was it, Someone had caught him.

“Kaneki?” This time the voice was different, it was deeper, a sultry tone wrapped around the words. A light purple, a shade closer to blue, sweet wine, heartfelt laughter.

_‘Shuu?’_

“Kaneki?” The voice repeated. He could smell flowers, red roses, “Kaneki, look at me.”

The half ghoul shook his head. Phantoms pains still flitted through his body making him tremble. Tears, probably mixed with blood, ran down his face as he silently shook.

“Please.” Shuu pleaded softly.

Forcing his eyes open Kaneki tried to see through the tears. Shuu’s face filled his marred vision. Blue eyebrows furrowed in concern, His eyes filled with fear. Kaneki slowly realized he must have woken Shuu up. His eyes widened when he moved his gaze to just over Shuu’s shoulder, Rize was still there, standing in the background, pulling his attention away. Her mouth was curled into a snarl.

“Hey, don’t look at her.” Shuu whispered removing his hands from Kaneki’s wrist. Cupping the side of his face he forced Kaneki to look at him.

Everything came crashing down, the dam collapsed, exhaustion flooded his body and Kaneki let out a sob, breaking. His body collapsed into Shuu, letting his scent enveloped him. Kaneki closed his eyes, trying to stop thinking. Everything felt so heavy, every thought made him want to sink into the floor and never return, maybe he could find some peace.

“You’re okay, it’s okay.” Shuu repeated the mantra while stroking Kaneki’s back. He felt tears well up at his boyfriend's distress and he slowly rocked him.

Then Shuu did as he always did-

He held Kaneki as he cried.

Cried with him.

Cried for him.

Shuu was the only one who had seen him cry. The absolute vulnerability of the act itself usually repulsed Kaneki. Letting himself be vulnerable was hard, at first he would jump anytime someone got too close, raised their voice, showed any sign of aggression. Laughter that had no source would follow him down the halls. Every night some part of him was terrified that he would wake up to find that he was still in that room.

“Weak.” Rize sneered from somewhere in his head.

_‘ignore her.’_

“Shuu?” Kaneki managed to speak his voice muffled as he buried his face in Shuu’s shirt creating marks from his tears.

“Yes?” Shuu gently stroked Kaneki’s back. He buried his nose into the white locks to hide his own face which was now streaked with tears.

“Please don’t go-” The words spilled out along with another sob. Kaneki sniffled as wrapped his arms around Shuu’s neck nuzzling his face into the soft skin.

“I won’t” Not so long ago Shuu had said the same words. He wouldn’t dream of leaving Kaneki, not now, not ever.

“he will.” Rize hissed.

_‘She’s not here.’_

“Promise?” Maybe it was childish, or naïve, but Kaneki wanted to- needed to believe that Shuu wouldn’t leave.

“I Promise.”

Kaneki allowed his eyes to flutter open, he felt like a child, expecting to see all his monsters standing there. When he saw the room it was empty as it had always been, a sigh of relief escaped him. They wouldn’t be gone forever. There would be more bad days. But Kaneki knew, that with Shuu at his side, maybe the bad days didn’t have to be so bad.

**Author's Note:**

> I should really stop making sad scenarios and writing them. Hopefully I'll write some smut next to get away from this pain.


End file.
